Ease

It's almost a given in attachment parenting that some or all of the parent's needs will be unmet. Be it sleep or lack of personal space, there's usually something parents would really like that they forfeit to care for small children, for a time at least.

For a long time now one of my greatest unmet needs has been ease. Granted, it seems a lot to expect ease in my life with the choices we made about moving to a building site and having a third child: small children and project houses are hardly renowned for being easy, stress free ventures! However, I really like to think that it is possible for us to have our needs met whatever the circumstances, even if it's not always, ummmm....easy :-)

If my situation precludes fundamental needs being met, perhaps I must reconsider whether meeting this need is truly a priority. Perhaps if I'm honest, those needs can wait a few years, or slide down/fall off my list altogether. Or maybe some (big) changes need to happen.

As much as I have wanted to believe I don't deserve ease at the moment, because of the circumstances of my life, I keep coming back to a place where I feel I must shift things, both practically and emotionally, to achieve a more peaceful inner state and a sense of ease of being.

Some ways I am trying to make life easier practically....

• Beginning (see my last post!) 
• De-cluttering I used this 40 day declutter guide, I'm still working to clear out the stuff we don't need. 
• Being organised with food -meal planning, making easy/quick meals, prepared ahead of time wherever possible.... doubling/trebling up on cooking so I can prepare lunch/dinner and something for the freezer at the same time.
• relaxation of my standards- seeing past mess, making easier meals, washing clothes (and dare I say it...myself) less frequently. Acceptance of the fact the housework will always be there for me!
• little and often- washing, tidying, etc. Sometimes this is the best way but sometimes i need to...
• Blitz big jobs...tick them off once and for all! 
• keep a shopping list in my notebook, write down items as soon as I realise I need something, make lists from my meal plans...
• Bulk buy when I do go shopping, especially at the Wholefood Grocery store.
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Emotionally, finding ease is much harder, but when i pare the situations I find most difficult to live with back, ease seems to constitute a few different things for me: acceptance, realism, clear boundaries, honesty, freedom. Funny how these little words embody so much internal struggle! It's been feeling like ease has been something to strive for, but I realise I have to find it here and now in each moment to really live with ease. Life is always imperfect, but I can always make the choice to live simply.