"Once your consciousness has been raised, it cannot be lowered"

My parenting journey, our home educating family and some other stuff here and there....

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Caught off guard

I take back everything I said about being more relaxed with the potty strike situation. Despite my best efforts to be cool like the Fonz, it's been tough the last week or so.

For some reason, after months of being clean, M suddenly decided he didn't want to poo on the pot ;( I knew he needed to go, offered him the pot and he arched his back off it, and made it quite clear he wanted to be on the floor. When I put him down (nappy free) he immediately, and unceremoniously dumped on the floor! He was also steathily depositing massive poos into his nappy, and seeming quite pleased about it. Oh nooooooo.

I cannot deny that I've felt uncomfortable with this situation. I'm usually pretty pleased to greet a poo on the pot but it's so different when it's in the pants. Anyway, after 4 consecutive days of messy bums it seems to have improved. BUT it was a stark reminder to stay relaxed and not be results focused.

I am still pondering why he might have done this. He's keeping me on my toes.
Anyway, he is so bloomin cute and funny, I can forgive him......

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

You can call me.....

Mrs Tiggywinkle!
We were doing really well with the little pants all weekend, then something changed when we hit Monday morning....

We were just about to head out to the park when I thought I'd stick a load of washing on to try and get on top of the housework. Whilst unloading the clean stuff, one of the paddle things in the drum came out with a pair of jeans ;/ The raw metal inside looked like it would shred any type of fabric the instant it came into contact with it. My heart sank as I gazed to the Everest like peaks of dirty laundry on my kitchen floor. Nooooooooooooo. It's just over 3 weeks since the warranty expired! PANTS!! (you got it Annie!)

So, I must have been carrying this anxious washerwoman vibe round with me that morning. I had, perhaps foolishly under the circumstances, decided to put M in his undies. Mistake. I managed to miss 3 wees: 3 extra pairs of wet pants *and* trousers to wash. And after M being dry all weekend ;( Poor wee man had no clean trousers at all, I had to go and buy some more!

I think it must've been a combination of my anxiety rubbing off on him, and the fact he was being back carried. As I mentioned before, I seem to be illiterate when it comes to reading his signals when he's on my back. Funny- he tells me, with a jiggle and a sign, when he's on my hip.

And my dirty laundry. Well add to this morning of non-ECing the fact the Esme fell into an enormous puddle of mud at the park, and caked every item of clothing in dirt so I had to drive her home naked from the waist down.....And then into another puddle again outside our house later in the day..... It was ridiculous!

Miraculously I have managed to wash it all. The washer manufacturer sent me the parts free of charge, a kind friend did a load for me and the laundrette was a convenient option of a dreary Tuesday when we had nowhere else to go! Machine is now fixed and merrily spinning the last load as I type..... Thank you for smiling on me universe!

Saturday, 10 January 2009


Hooray! I finally found some itsy-bitsy tiny little briefs for Magnus
Most of the shops seem to start their knickers for age 2-3, when most kids seems to start going on the potty. 18 months were the smallest I found so far and they were still too big for his wee bum. But today, I went to Boots to exchange some electronic tat M was given for Christmas and managed to buy 15 pairs of 12m pants for the bargain price of £3! (3 packs of 5 at £1 a pack, down from £4 each.) Result! 

So, the first thing I did when we got back was put them on, he seemed pretty pleased as far as I could tell, that is, he had a bit of a grope and then carried on as normal ;) Then we went out gathering food supplies. I sat him on a prefold/nappy wrap in the car seat, just in case. He was wriggling in the shop so when we got outside I just whipped his pants down and he peed in the car park, even though it was freezing! And then I just pulled them up again. It was so much easier than messing about getting a nappy on and off. Ah it sounds so daft writing it down but really, it was revolutionary after the struggle of doing a wee out and about up to now. He was dry til bedtime. 

I don't know if this may be the start of no nappies for us. Some ECers are *really* brave (in my book) and go nappy free from the start, but for me I couldn't take the risk of getting covered in wee all over my clothes, and wrap as I was wearing him constantly. Actually I found the signals harder to read when he was up on my back. 

In retrospect though, I wonder if a lot of the misses we have/had are because of the delay I might make helping Mags to go- it is a pain having to get a cloth nappy (we use Mother Ease) off/on again, especially when you're peeing a tiny baby who goes more often. If we are ever crazy enough to have any more babies maybe I will be brave from the start..... if not I may never know....

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

It's just a phase....

It's funny how little phases of behaviour seem so important when you're stuck in the middle of them, and then before you know it you've forgotten they ever even happened.

Like potty "strikes". I'd completely forgotten about the way Esme used to decide she absolutely *was not* going to go on the pot, despite both her and I knowing she really needed to. She'd communicate this by arching her back, crying, sometimes just getting off and bum shuffling away. I always found it a bit frustrating: it was hard to just go with it, when it meant there'd be a wet nappy or puddle on the floor seconds later. The "proper" behaviour would always come back, whether or not I got stressed and uptight about it.

Magnus has served a reminder of the potty strike for me throughout the tail end of 2008, though so far this year he is much less resistant to going (thank goodness!). Happy New Year by the way....

His strikes, pauses, whatever you want to call them, have differed from Esme's. Actually many other aspects of mothering him are very different to how I was with her, but I'll ramble if I try and go into that now... I think I've been a lot more laid back about losing the pottying groove, and also more creative. I discovered his refusal to wee on the travel "bowl" when out and about was indicative of his desire to go like a big boy on the real toilet ;) I've also found that he really likes having a distraction, wherever we are. For Esme this was always a book but Mags prefers something to hold and mess with when I'm holding him on the bucket. Perhaps this is a precursor to holding and messing with his willy when he's a bigger boy!

It's been less irritating for me to witness times when he's flat refused as I knew for certain it was definitely just a phase. And, our groove certainly seems to be back now. The wee man is going when he needs to, on the bowl, the loo, the bucket, in a bush.....wherever. He's also signing for his potty quite clearly and consistently, which is very helpful, and cute. Last night he was dry all night despite me being a bit lazy not taking him to the pot, which really surprised me.

I'm glad this phase of resistance seems to be passing. It's really been OK to go through it, but it's much nicer working together.