We're thinking quite seriously about moving out of the city. It's a little daunting as it will mean quite a big change of pace and way of life. We have good friends and an active and supportive home education community in Manchester, and I am very involved in a very exciting project to do with learning that is very much rooted in being here. When I write down that I wonder why I want to move out.....
I've been resisting the pull of the green Valleys to the North where I grew up for a long time but it's still there and it's getting stronger, if anything. We feel that we will all be too comfortable in our Urban ways if we leave it much longer to move. It's cheaper up there, we can get a bigger house, a garden, be closer to my family, it's still close to Manchester...not the end of the earth at all really. But Joel will have a long commute to work (at least in the short term) so we'd see him even less than we already do, we will be more reliant on the car, there is not a local home educating community as far as I can tell, no ethical wholefood co-op, no fabulous corner shop. I don't know. It's a hard call...
Here is a not very good picture of my beautiful children at our wonderful corner shop, just because I never put any pictures on my boring text heavy page!
Anyway, add this to all the other "small"(!) stuff: managing home learning and meeting the children's needs, what to cook, housework, my LLL leadership application, my various on the go projects...crochet, several riveting and enlightening books, my filing pile, sewing and mending, making the house more liveable (and therefore more saleable!), the garden, the pets...even just checking my email, never mind responding....
SO many things are buzzing about in my head, it's all a bit dizzying, and I am really tired out with both the depth of emotion and physicality of my everyday life. But I feel a real difference to how this feels compared to previous times when I've had lots of thoughts to sort out.
I think it's attachment. I am really trying not to get stuck on wanting any particular thing, just trusting that the right path will come along and we'll know when to choose it. Doing what I can when I can, managing my time, being responsible. It feels good to have lots going on but no anxiety attached to the outcomes. All the energy I would've wasted procrastinating and worrying once upon a time will be much better spent looking after me so that I'm strong enough to do what needs to be done.
I'm expectant, excited, hopeful, ready to go forward in whatever way we need to.
Enough rambling. Bed ;)
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2 comments:
Oh yes... that's so hard.
Part of me wants to say don't move away from your great community. It was hard for me to move away from such a huge home learning community recently to know no one who "schools" or parents like I do. I also don't like it when partners have to communte. But then an other part of me says MOVE! Think of the decluttering you'll do then? Ha. But seriously change is great- so are bigger gardens and quieter lives. You might find you love it all the more and if you didn't try, you'd never know.
Basically, I don't know what you should do either.
Thanks Annie ;)
I'm hoping all will become clear without us actually having to do very much!
The right size/price houses aren't coming up very often anywhere, town or country! And then we still have our house to sell which could prove tricky...
Time will tell I suppose ;)
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