"Once your consciousness has been raised, it cannot be lowered"

My parenting journey, our home educating family and some other stuff here and there....


Thursday, 19 November 2009

All cluttered up

I've been de-cluttering since we moved into our home almost four years ago. I am doing really well, when I think about how it was. I must have got rid of at least two or three (full) rooms worth of "stuff". It is still something I always have to count as a job on my "to do" list, and I am getting sick of it now. I just want life to be sorted and tidy! I'm really, really looking forward to the day when I just have a "for the charity shop" basket in a corner somewhere. It'll be the only place there are things that no longer need to belong to us.

I don't really understand how I came to be in such a pickle with all this. I don't "collect" for the sake of it, or even to have a collection of something. Paper is my weakness I suppose. I save things- articles, pictures- that are inspirational, precious, informative. Oh, and there's my fabric stash ;-S Other than that I've really moved away from my old mindset where I'd keep things "just in case". I can chuck out just about anything now. In fact, I'm coming close to throwing away even the things I really value. Having stuff lying around is just reminding me how little time I have to do all the things I want to do with my inspiration, creativity and knowledge. It's irritating me. Aside from that, I really want to foster a sense of responsibility towards having (less) things in my children. I am striving to model this now.

I am all too aware that we need barely any of the things we have for the children. Though I am really so glad I have managed to completely avoid flashing battery eating tat, we still have more plastic (albeit vintage Fisher Price and Playmobil) than I would like. I would be perfectly happy to get rid of about 80% of the stuff they have. I have recently culled a lot of our soft toy population (ugh...why do even they make these things?), puzzles and Esme's "special things" by stealth. It was underhand, I fear. I now feel I'm stuck at a point where I can't really "magic away" too much more without discussing it with Es, and that's where I get stuck because she flat refuses to part with anything. I feel terrible stealing the things she has. She has the memory of an elephant and still asks where cuddly toys she was given as a baby are. I don't like to encourage clinging to stuff, but I can't completely disregard her. What to do?

All I know is that I feel nervous, as Christmas approaches, about the influx of more things that will have to be kept somewhere....we have so little space even for things that are practical or beautiful. I have tried to ask for only useful things, things we need, money towards experiences, less, or even no gifts. How nice it would be for everyone to have a Buy Nothing Christmas .

I also feel really nervous at the prospect of moving house, which will hopefully happen sometime in the next year or so. I just can't do another four years of making somewhere into a home. Hopefully all my hard work here will pay off and our moving boxes will just be full of bare necessities and love.

1 comment:

Annie said...

We should talk irl or on the phone! Ha. We'd have a lot to talk about.

It doesn't sound like you're looking for advice so much but might I suggest finding a friend to help you sort through your things. Sometimes it's nice to have an outside opinion and it's really nice if that person can take the things away that you decide on that day. (I have a pick up truck I'd offer if I could!)

To me it's not necessarily about just getting rid of everything- although I'm definitely a purger! If we really don't need it than it goes. Sometimes I'm sentimental about things and I keep them and reassess at another date. Sentimental things do have a place, imo- it's just figuring out a balance so you don't have too much hanging on forever.

I like to look at my space or the spaces themselves and decide what I want it to look like or the purpose of the room. Then the stuff that doesn't fit into that idea or into any of the other rooms is an easy bye bye.

I would make things disappear too and Lily also started to notice as she got older. I want to be honest with her though and am now. Sometimes we keep things that I wouldn't normally want to because it matters to her and other things go because we really don't have room and/or it's not being used and/or it's not good quality and/or... A sense of order in my life is important so we do keep things to a minimum around here.

We don't do christmas. We don't do gifts and I've told family that if they must send something, have it be meaningful and worthwhile because I will give away things that aren't. I've told them that we don't have a lot of room and don't want to feel cluttered. We get less gifts now which is great. Last year we got a large box of MIC junk out of the blue from Cam's step mom. I think every single thing went away on Freecycle or the thrift store. Sad.

I know it's not always easy being honest with family and friends about this but if you're dreading and then drowning in *stuff* after these holidays, it's not good for anyone. Family and friends want to show their love not overwhelm you with clutter. I think it's worth being honest so everyone wins- but especially you. You can always offer suggestions of alternatives to gifts? Or get more specific about the gifts you do want?