I managed to pee M in the middle of IKEA today. It was less attention grabbing than breastfeeding him! He has a bit of a toilet aversion and prefers to go outside or on his little bowl. I had tried to get him to go on the loo but he wouldn't. I knew he needed a wee in the pot plant bit so I sat on the little kids stool by the play bit and he had a BIG wee. We seem quite attuned at the moment, it's lovely.
I really miss having this sense of closeness with my big-little girl, and wonder if and when I'll ever rediscover this with her. It's there in fleeting moments: when we cook and bake, snuggling, reading, painting, talking and holding hands when we walk, but far less predictable or constant than with M. I suppose that's what letting kids grow up is about to a certain extent, growing apart. Since M's been here it's been much harder to connect with her, and I sense I need to give more to her, make more effort to stay in tune. As M's first birthday approaches I feel more than a twinge of sadness when I think of it being whole year since I was totally hers. My sweet and lovely baby girl.
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2 comments:
Yay for pees- and plants. I have a pul wet bag that opens on the length side and it doubles as a potty if I need it too. Perfect in a pinch because it fits in my bag like a small magazine. It won't hold the pee a long time afterwards but it's recognisable to pee in and perfect when you're stuck inside and there's no plants! Ha.
Ah, closeness. I sometimes found it hard to stay connected with my dd after my ds was born. It's getting easier and easier though to find those moments to collect and reconnect. I hope you can find those moments more too... Warmly....
I should probably clarify that I didn't let M pee in the pot plants in IKEA, we just used them as camouflage whilst he sat on the little mixing bowl I carry about! Your little bag sounds like a much better idea, the bowl is a bit cumbersome.
Thanks for your warm wishes X
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