Uplifted!

Thanks to the bra doctor my chest is looking its best! My spirits have soared upwards with my boobs this afternoon! What a difference a decent bra makes, I've lost weight and my posture is so much better! Hurrah!

Why pottywoman?

Well, I was going to blog about EC (Elimination Communication) as it's something I do with my sweet babes that I get asked about a lot. The potty is a pretty ingetral part of this and, to be honest, it was all I could come up with!

But, as I seem to be writing about my mental state too, I suppose the double meaning comes into play. Am I potty? I do sometimes wonder if I am going slightly mad. Not in the "I'm mad me!" way some (most irritating) people try to be funny, but in the "I am definitely losing the plot, what is going on??" way. I wonder if my musings will help me clarify my confused mental state from time to time. I hope so!...

Thank goodness I am feeling lighter than Monday today ;)

one of those days.....

It may be a little odd to start with no background, explanation of who I am, what I do etc... but I have to start somewhere, and today has been a fairly tough one to get to grips with so I feel more inclined to reflect than to try and make my profile glitter and all that.

I realised tonight that I am struggling along a bit these days because I have never really, truly *had* to do anything before.

Lots of things I've loved doing with my life have fallen by the wayside when I came to a sticky point with them. I am a mediocre pianist, perhaps that's too generous. I speak a little German. Even less Spanish and French. I've done so many jobs I don't care to think about it, most of them quite badly! I really knew how to "do" school, and on the surface I was a high achiever, but i didn't actually learn very much. I've mainly not practised yoga for 10 years.

Whenever I've been challenged I have managed to avoid practice and hard work, and lacked the determination required to push myself to break through the barriers, hence I have no notable accomplishments. Am I lazy? Unmotivated? Afraid of failure?....all of those things and more?

With parenting, I can't just give up. Today for a while I really, really wanted to.

Perhaps that's why I'm having more and more of these days: I'm meeting the sort of obstacles I usually run a mile from. But my children can't be a pair of crochet slippers that only cover one toe.

I really hope that's not too negative for a starting point, it's just where I'm at this evening.